The latest issue of "Goodbye Lover", Magine attracted all firepower, and netizens transferred the attention of Yang Zi to Mi Lin.
Magines originally set up an all -round housewife, take care of the child at home, husband, stable behind the rear.He also participated in Li Xingliangs work later, and he couldnt finish everything every day.
But in the latest issue, Mi Lin lost the tour guide handbook twice as a guide, and the suitcase will not be collected.People set up a big rollover.
Mi Lin has always thought that she is not strong, but from her perspective, Yang Zi thinks that the other party is very strong, and she also understands Yang Zi thinks thatI am not strong.
Huang Shengyi pointed out the bug, "Arent you contradictory?"
Mi Lin stunned on the spot and didnt speak.
Netizens are sympathizing with Li Xingliang: Its pitiful, get divorced.
I also thought that Malin was very strong at first. It was not until the conversation between Zhang Quanling and Magin, and found that she was the disadvantaged party in the marriage.
01,
When you leave in the morning, everyone elves gets up early, only Magine sleeps until 11 until 11 to 11point.Give the task of buying earlier to Ge Xi and Li Xingliang.
She asked Li Xingliang, "Am I equipped with a cup of coffee?"
Huang Shengyi asideIt was recommended that she said it directly, and Mi Lin finally caught up and told Li Xingliang "Help me bring a cup of coffee."
Many people do not understand this sentence: Why do you want why do you want?Dont say it directly?I think this is her habitual lower gesture, so that Li Xingliang can pay more attention to herself.
It is not love to say it. If you love me, you should understand what I want and what I really want to express.
Through this kind of guessing game, it proves that the other party loves himself.
Soon after Magin and Li Xingliang fell in love, they resigned and followed him to develop from Shenzhen to Beijing.
When Li Xingliang was silent and unknown, she sold jewelry online to bear the daily expenses of two people, and the days were hard.
After getting married with a child, he became a full -time wife to take care of the familys life.
She was very happy at first, proud and complacent.
Over time, they slowly accumulated grievances and complaints.
The root cause is that Magin does not get a sense of value in the family.
Housewives are not worthless, but this value is completely different from usual work reward system we are familiar with.
You face duplicate, trivial, mental effort, and even hard -to -please small things every day.
No one will comfort you encouragement when it is sad, and no one applauds you well.
Not to mention money, title, reputation.
Magine has two children to take care of, and the nanny only reduces the pressure of some housework, and the childs affairs are more laborious.
American sociologist Hawker Hilder proposed that taking care of the elderly, children of children who deal with people are emotional labor.
It has great value, but it is not measured by all money for the time being.
So housewives are not suitable for everyone. It requires you to have a firm core and fully self -consistent.
This cognition requires a certain amount of learning and practice to truly change.
Obviously, Magine has no such ability at present.
In addition, she is usually surrounded by family chores, without much time to reflect and think.
Her heart is empty, and this sense of value can only be sought out.
The most obvious thing is to complain with Li Xingliang, always asking the other party to prove her love for her.
02,
All the words Magine are allEmphasize how good I am.
The person in charge of the first stop tour guide automatically claimed it, and let go of the big words, "Just give me".
In the actual action, Li Xingliang did more, other reconciliation, soothe everyones emotions, buy breakfast, and so on.
She always emphasizes her efforts to pay for the family, her hard work.
In front of Li Xingliang, Magin said, "I used to pursue one of them, and one of them can let me live a rich wife who cares about her careless lady"
= "34ttggnl"> The subtext is that I was very valuable, but I made a sacrifice for you.She quit her job as a housewife, and put everything in the family, and everyone took care of it.
You can not buy clothes for several years, saving the degree of digging.
All are to do well by making themselves so that others cannot tell her any criticisms, and let yourself stand at the high point of morality.
In this way, you can blame the other party.
Including her strength, all through external methods to highlight her strength.
The more a person cares, the more you emphasize.
Walking on the road to let Li Xingliang take pictures, Li Xingliang is unwilling, and she must take pictures.
All things in the family have to make a decision.
There is also intervention in Li Xingliang dressing.Take care of him like a child, and she decides what to eat and what clothes.
You want to listen to me, you should listen, otherwise it will make me feel that I am weak, you dont care about me, dont care about meEssence
This will in turn stimulate her self -esteem.
Magins response to everything is also this principle: I am right.
Zhang Quanling asked who had the matter at home.
Mi Lin said, Li Xingliang said the final say.
Zhang Quanling asked, who money is on.
Mi Lin said that although money is in my hands, big things are still decided by Li Xingliang.
Then take out the matter of buying a house and let everyone evaluate it, because she thinks that this matter is wrong.
By picking yourself out and throwing the pot, make yourself feel good: the mistake is that you have committed it and have nothing to do with me.
Including various words and deeds, this kind of cognitive deviation in yourself.
The ultimate goal is to make herself better and reduce her sense of frustration in her family.
But these things are very ordinary to look at it carefully. Normal people are willing to do it with their hearts.So her heart knows that these work in the secular sense is not worthwhile, and she will feel unsafe.
03,
Magine looks very strong, but the inner posture is very low.
Who is the one with the most demand in the relationship, who is the real disadvantaged side.
She put herself in the script of traditional women, unwilling to come out, or she didnt realize that there was a second way to choose from.
She likes to take care of people, and thinks it should be what she should do.
This is likely to be trained since childhood, or parents marriage is such a template, and naturally I think I should do this.
Including saving money, it also starts from the entire family.
Her starting point is not personal, but a family.
By exploiting yourself, I hope that the other party can love her better, otherwise you are sorry for me.
But in the process, she has grievances.
Mi Lin attributed the problem between them to "you dont love me enough", which is equivalent to transferring the problem.
This problem that originally needed to solve it was now passed on to the other half, becoming a problem that the other party needs to be responsible.
Mi Lin is the only one of the three women, the only person who has no self -awareness.
All her nagging, complaints, and persecution are all self -problems.
And all her behavior is asking out.
During the marriage medical examination, she asked Li Xingliang, "How do you want me to change?"
Her attention is always in the other party, seeking answers and self -value from the other party.
She never realized her essential problem, and did not realize what she wanted.
04,
It can be seen through chatting with Zhang Quanling that she is actually a cognitive shallow,Vulgar people.
Zhang Quanling asked her to try to understand Li Xingliangs inner world.
She feels that understanding the other party is equivalent to fully identifying him, but I dont want to agree, and I am not interested in his music, and I dont want to pretend to recognize.
Love someone will naturally want to know each other.
Even if you dont like what the other person likes so, you can also have more understanding of him through this process.
Mi Lin does not think that one person needs to do this.She believes that she does not need to understand his inner world, and she only needs to be satisfied at the material level.
So she was envious when she saw her girlfriends husband always buying things.
Zhang Quanling asked her what she wanted, and she said that she didnt think about it, that was, this action made her feel loved.
After repeatedly, she admits that "I want a bag at the moment because I can make me face."Immediately explained that "I dont have the specific I want."
At the beginning, she liked Li Xingliang because she saw that his residence was clean and tidy, thinking that the boy was very diligent and tenacious, and was a person who could live at home.
Others are not important for her.
