Hello, I am 蓁 蓁 ~
When I was a child, there were always such classmates in the class, carrying a schoolbag with patch every day, butBut every day, he ran crazy on the way to school. He felt nothing, which could make him worry.
Today, such children are getting less and less ...
Is the living conditions worse?Obviously not!
Many parents now work to work for their children, but they work day and night, but ignore the childrens spiritual world.
In fact, the biggest sadness of a child is not poor at home, but the parents "repeated reminder"!
invisible psychological abuse "You always do you alwaysSo careless, not even the schoolbags are not well sorted out! "This question is wrong again, why are you so stupid!"
Are you often right?Children said? Sometimes, it can be repeated many times a day.
I dont know why, as if to be a parent, I immediately changed!
Our original intention is to correct childrens mistakes and promote them to thrive.
But I dont know, when this repeated reminder is actually an intangible psychological abuse.
Psychological research shows that continuous negative feedback will seriously damage the childs self -esteem and self -confidence.
The famous psychologist Adele pointed out in the book "Inferiority and Excellence": "Childrens growth is deeply influenced by the family environment, especially parents attitudes and behaviors."
Repeated reminders of parents will let their children make children childrenI believe: I am so careless, I just have a bad memory, I am not smart enough.
The repeated power is huge, It can transform a simple information into a profound belief.
and the child may be suffering!
Psychologist Martin Seligman proposed the concept of "acquisition and helplessness", which means that the child has experienced many failures after many failuresOne of the psychological states of the form of formation is hopeless and helpless.
If what the child does, he will get repeated reminders of his parents, point out the mistake, and the child will give up his efforts for a few days.Negative passive.
Because of making more mistakes, it is better to do less and wrong!
Learn to ignite the flame Ancient Greek philosopher Satgrada said: "The essence of education is not to instill knowledge, but to ignite the flame."
Parents must first have a pair of discovering bright eyes, Children do a lot of things every day, and they must not be wrong. Choose the childs right thing to praise him. This is the wisdom of parents!
"" Operation Condition Reflex Theory " in psychology believesIf positive rewards or stimuli (that is, positive reinforcements) are given, the probability of this behavior will increase in the future.
So the more we praise the advantages of the child, the right thing and behavior, the more stimulus can promote the child to make it againSimilar behavior can form a good behavior mode of over time.
Dont tell me that you cant find your childs right thing, observe and observe the child!
Learn to use secret words
If the child does repeat the mistakes often,The parents are going to think deeply!
Repeated errors often indicate that children do not have the ability to correct mistakes.
Dont always think that the child is intentional, just refuse to change it. In fact, it is easy to be in our opinion. It may be a big thing in the child.
When necessary, you can sit down and talk to your child. Why cant you overcome this problem?
Where is the difficult point?Think of a way with your children and defeat bad habits together.
If you must remind you, remember to try Repeat reminder to "secret".
Advance the secret language with the child, or special gestures to remind him to change some behavior, which will have better effects and will not cause more psychology to the child to cause more psychological psychologyburden.
For example, "Mommy Mummy Coax", remind him of sitting upright; He must be polite and greet him actively;
These secrets or postures are the small secrets of us with our children. When you see these prompts, Children will be more willing to correct the errors.Essence
Write at the end
Do not remind you Broken childrens confidence , dont let negative evaluation lock the childs self -evaluation.It is not easy to be parents, but can a little change can affect the childs life, is it also very fulfilling?
Go to discuss with your children, what kind of secrets do you want to set!(#^.^#) I am@蓁 psychological support, welcome to pay attention, learn more about family education. Some pictures come from the Internet, such as invading and deleting.
