Looking at "Goodbye Lover", Mi Lin asked me to see the worst raising mode of the girl.
jealousy Huang Shengyi dancing is better than himself
Jealousy Ge Xis native family conditions are good
ComplaintsHusband is not good, which is not goodSeeing Huang Shengyi who doesnt know what personal property is disaster
, Want to dare not, all kinds of twisted buses
She is a typical victim of self -moved childcare, comparative parenting, suppression of childcare, and incompetent parenting.For those.
I. How the comparative parenting and suppression of childcare turned her into a sour grape that was extremely inferior and jealous.
I believe that one of her parents must not only criticize and accuse her from time to time, but also add a sentence:
You see who is so good, you see you so bad!
This long -term comparison and suppression, it is easy to form the interpersonal mode of interpersonal relationships that "hello, Im not good, you are not good,".People in this model can not appreciate the excellence of others at all, as if the excellence of others is taken from her.
So we see that a amateur is jealous of star Huang Shengyi dancing better than himself, jealous of Ge Xis native family, and jealous of her husbands work.She was jealous than her, including her husband, and even children.
Children who are criticized and suppressed will only inferior, but at the same time, taking other peoples goodness to set off their childrens badness, it will stimulate the childs strong jealousy and form this badInterpersonal relationship mode.
How to change this interpersonal mode?
First of all, we must change zero -sum thinking. The advantages and wealth of others are not taken from us, not you have more relationships.
Secondly, you must really learn to appreciate the excellent people. When you are with excellent people, you will become better.
2. The parents self -moving parenting has turned her into a big blood bag, and now she is turning Li Xingliang into a big blood bag!
I am for you ...
Guoshi can really be a good tool for manipulating others.
Hearing some rumors about her native family, it is speculated that Mai Mai is also a victim who has been firmly controlled by guilt by native families.She has no chance to learn how to build a healthy and intimate relationship, and she can only repeat the relationship of the native family.
Watching her constantly output "What am I for you" to her husband Li Xingliang, that is, she wants Li Xingliang to be deeply guilty, so he will not leave herself.
In fact, this self -emotional parenting mode among the previous generation of parents is not uncommon. My mother also has one thing, but our sisters are more sober.Come.So if I am her, what I need now is not divorce, but far away from the native family, and re -learning how to get along with others.
For family education for 14 years, I have seen too many women with rare native families. Many of them immediately leave the native family once they can be independent.Growth and eventually harvested a healthy intimacy and parent -child relationship.
and unknowingly she copied her parents model, that is, it is a large blood bag to become a utensil to cultivate the big blood bag.It looks like her two children can also escape the spell of inheritance.
3. Parents who are incompetent can only raise a grievance and good child.
There is still a motionless feeling that it is wrong to be aggrieved. It is probably because childhood has not been treated fairly, and parents lack the ability to apologize.
From the perspective of psychology, the emotion of grievance only has children, because children are pursuing fairness, adults only look at their own interests, and how much others get a relationship with my sister.
When we are still children, they are often unable to fight when they are unfair.If our children have not grown up, even if we encounter injustice in adulthood, we will not work hard, but still helpless grievances like children.
Of course, people who cant be the same will often feel wronged, but her grievances are based on her efforts and contributions of others, only seeing her dedication and contribution.So some unfairness may be just that you feel unfair, not really unfair.
In fact, I am very sympathetic to Mai Mai. Her native family has gathered the most garbage parenting method.Mai Mai was spit on all kinds of wonderful words and deeds.
So she is not anxious, inferior, grievance, and jealousy.
Her seafood market second -hand records. Her front and back contradictions and her charming are extremely insecure anxiety.There is almost no anxiety about money, anxiety about relationships, and anxiety about her appearance.
Many people realize that after a serious injury, they realized that the native family has caused great trauma to themselves, so Mai Mai lacks such an awakening timing. Mai Mai has not yet not yet.I realized that she was a victim of a native family, so her growth was not opened at all.
It is recommended that Mai Mai read the book "Hug your inner children", and you may see your inner trauma.Only when we know that we are injured can we heal.
The key is whether you want to change?
Now I can better understand what Adeler said: Who changes and who changes.
