Author: Main Creator · Xiaotian
Another parent, because the counseling operation fell.
This is a father in Nanyang, Henan.Not long ago, when he taught his daughters homework, due to emotional excitement, he suddenly vomited and chest tightness, the whole person trembled, and was rushed to the hospital rescue room at night.
A lot of news has happened, and before, there was even a mother who died suddenly of brain stem.After watching these tragedies, I just want to use a ridicule on the Internet to express my heart: "In the last life, the evil is made, and the homework in this life!"
Isnt it!It is a catalyst for emergency fire, which has caused countless parents to be crazy, stuffed, and out of control. Even if we do not have life, it is enough to greatly reduce our health index.
As a netizen said: "In the two years of counseling operation, I have more thyroid nodules, the spleen has a cyst, and there are more gallstones, and the lungs are on the lungs.There are also nodules "
and even if there is no anger, it is definitely the number one destroyer that affects parent -child harmony.At the scene, the chicken flying dog jumping instantly ...
Cutting operations, it is really a robbery for parents.
I can get angry when I write homework
It is so difficult to make children study hard!In the movie "Learning Dad", Huang Bos father, because of the collapse of the tutoring operation, was directly entered the police station by his son to call the police.
In the face of the polices inquiry, he was still angry and gritted: "My blood pressure has soared to 160, he (son) even smiled at me!"
Dad complained that his sons performance was furious:
Obviously very simple topic, no matter how many times they are playing the piano against the cow, will always be the piano, and it will always be the piano, and it will always be the piano.A look of embarrassing expression;
Write a job slowly, more than three hours without a "mouth" word ...
Through the screen, I can feel that every hair is firing.
In fact, Dad was also patient and gentle at first, and he would talk to his son with bitterly. In order to let him understand the content of the homework repeatedly.
But this calmness is still disappointed after all.Faced with the baby who had exhausted his population, he still couldnt do anything.
Huang Bos vivid interpretation made countless parents feel the same.Everyone said that this "online irritable" father is completely his own replica!
In fact, the TV series originated from real life.
A survey of "China Education Daily Family Education Weekly" shows that 90.8%of parents will get angry with their children due to homework problems, and 70.6%of parents will produce thisDespicable and other negative emotions, more than half of parents will scold their children for their homework.
When asked about the problems existing when the child did, most parents answers were concentrated in two aspects-— Children have poor learning habits and are unwilling to learn.
It is true. When tutoring operations, we are really angry.At that time, the extremely correct attitude — the heart is absent -minded and grinding. When the adults explanation, it seems to be a sleepwalking, all kinds of small differences.In the end, the content I talked about was still not known, and the same questions were still repeated ...
Think of a sentence on the Internet: "Learn this matter, never want to never want to never.Expect the child to take the initiative to open up. " feels unwilling and unwilling.I really envy those children who are extremely worrying about learning.That self -discipline and efficiency are the key to their gap between them and their peers, and they are also valuable qualities that all parents are eager to own their own baby.
But, it is more difficult to make children do all of this!
In exchange for my good intentions, I do my best
Where is the question?
That night, the girlfriend sent a message: "I want to give up the chicken baby.I learned that p ID = "35N68ds2"> I learned that it was another parent who was hurt by the childs academic.
It turned out that her girlfriend broke her heart for her daughters performance. In addition to school operations, she also carefully arranged the "Mom Card" operation every night, asking her daughter to complete it carefully.
In the eyes of girlfriends, so hard, the daughters grade will not be bad, but the reality is not wrong.
The daughter always ranks middle and lower in the class.The recent test is even more messy, not even the most interested in girlfriends.There are only five students under 90 points in the class, and the baby is one of them.
This result allows girlfriends to break the defense on the spot.She couldnt figure it out, why did she invest so much time and hard work?
But after listening to her talk, I found that she was caught in three misunderstandings that many parents often committed during counseling.
1. Excessive intervention, keep an eye on
Girlfriends like to stare at their daughters. Once they are found out, they are found to find their homework homework.When the child is wrong or the words are ugly, they will immediately wipe off their daughter.In the whole process, she will always correct her daughters status: the movement is slow, the head is not raised, and the status of any writing homework is not online.Cant help but chatter.
But helplessly, they all did this, but the daughter still taught repeatedly, and it seemed that a dead pig was not afraid of boiling water.
Think of the "over -limit effect" of psychology -when the same stimulus of the outside world is too long, excessive, and frequent, the individual willEmotional response such as impatience, dislike, resistance, and resistance, and even escape, resistance and other acts.
Think about it in other places. Someone always stares at writing homework. From time to time, it is like Tang Seng.
2. Rough attitude, forced to threat
Girlfriends daughter created a sentence: "Every time I should be when I shouldWhen the homework is wrong, my mother will rush to me like a beast.When emotional out of control, the childs paper was torn.
She also has a mantra: "These topics give you ×× minute to complete.= "35N68DSI"> This tough attitude makes her daughter trembling and full of pressure, not only has a shadow on writing homework, but also allows parent -child relationships to be tense.
3. Abuse rewards, there is no faith
In order to allow children to complete the extracurricular operation they arranged,Girlfriends often "routine" daughter:
"As long as you finish these questions, I will buy you a quiet book you like."
"These words come out, let you play more for half an hour."
"This volume is all right, and I will watch two episodes tonight two episodes.Animation.Obviously a good gift was put in the future of the remarkable life: "Wait for you to buy it for you."
A promised entertainment time is repeatedCompression: "This half -hour light is used to play more. Lets spend a few minutes to preview the homework."
Girlfriends who have repeatedly eaten their words to make their daughters gradually no longer trust.It is also greatly affected.
In this way, although the girlfriend has fully taught her daughters homework, because the method is not proper, many times they have done useless work.
I want children to learn freely
What should parents do?
Education expert Wang Renping once said:
, Teaching methods and skills; parent -child relationships make parents get used to high and emotionalization, and lack of respect and patience to children.However, we must adhere to a principle: relationships are preceded by education, including education, and greater than education.Jumping is a very good thing that not only hurts parent -child relationships, cuts our prestige in childrens hearts, but also easily leads to children who are tired of learning or even having the world.
Unfortunately, many of our parents did not realize this.
I have read such a post on Xiaohongshu.
A netizen went to a friends house on the weekend. The other party was just making lunch, so she asked her to watch her daughter write homework.
In the period, the little girl could not do a question. Netizens explained several times, and the children still heard the clouds in the clouds.
So netizens continued to explain very patiently until the little girl fully understood.
Afterwards, the friends daughter said to her, "Auntie, you are so good, if you are my mother, you will get angry long ago.>
This makes netizens embarrassed, because she is also not patient when counseling her own children.
Why can we always get angry with other peoples children, but get angry with our children?
This is because when we get along with our children, we will cross the boundary without consciousness, and we will have too much expectations to the other party.The other party listens to himself and executes it according to his own standards.
This leads to the right and bad of the result when the result is right, but ignore the childs feelings.In this way, not only the counseling effect is not good, but also greatly affected the parent -child relationship.
and for the children, relying on "his law" to restrain learning, after all, it is impossible to really fall in love with learning.
In fact, in fact, in order to stimulate the childs internal driving force and really become self -disciplined in learning, what parents need to do is to return the initiative of learning tochild.
As the book "Self -Driven Growth" states: "Parents want to cultivate their childrens self -control and stimulate their inherent motivation, they should see themselves.It is the childs "consultant , not the childs" boss or manager.
