1
Seeing a hot search makes people have a rare refreshing.
The subject drove to get off work on weekdays, and the time on the commute was full of comfort and freedom.
Later, due to the weather, the subject took a few colleagues several times.
But what the subject did not expect was that since then, the colleague had to take the owners car to get off work every day.
What is even more collapsed is that all the subjects are late, and colleagues will urge them again and again.
At the beginning, the subject thought that it was a colleague relationship with each other.But after a long time, the subject found that he was holding his heart and was very unhappy.
After tangling for a long time, the subject finally gathered the courage to send a paragraph to colleagues:
"Sorry, start you tomorrow, start with you tomorrow.Lets take a ride or take the subway.To get on you, I have to go on time every day. I am already a little bit bad, and I have become a burden.
The moment the information was emitted, the subject felt unprecedentedly relaxed, and the so comfortable feeling that the subject had not experienced it for a long time.
This makes the subject gradually realize: between people, the most important thing is to keep the boundary.
If this boundary is blurred, then it will inevitably bring each others discomfort.
2
I have read a self -report from a netizen.
Netizens joined the inspection department of one unit in August last year. Because the number of units is temporarily saturated, netizens were transferred to the pharmacy of the township health centers.
In the pharmacy, in addition to netizens, there are two girls.
As soon as they arrived, one of them asked netizens to help the night shift. Netizens thought that it was not tight to occasionally something happened once or twice, so she agreed quickly.
But what I did not expect was that the girl later told netizens that she could not prepare for pregnancy in the night shift, so that netizens could help.
Although netizens are unwilling, but helplessly, the netizens only hope that they can be adjusted back to the original position as soon as possible, so that there is no need to be on the night shift.
A year ago, netizens were finally transferred back to the inspection department by the dean, and they were relieved, thinking that they could start to live normally.
But what is completely unexpected is that the female colleague went directly to the dean.
After listening to the dean, he told the other party that if something happened, he could let netizens help off work.
Who knows that female colleagues are not satisfied. Later, she directly said that she needs to condition her body and cannot stay up late. I want netizens to keep on dating her night shift.
In this way, netizens helplessly helped the girl worth for more than half a year.
Until the netizens body is in the situation, and explains the situation with the female colleague, hoping to make itself slow.
Who knows that female colleagues ignore others at all, so that netizens are completely angry.
Psychological expert Li Xue proposed in his work:
"Boundary, it can be said to be one of the most lacking concepts of the Chinese people."
I have to say that there are too many people, they do nothing, wantonly cross the border, and constantly challenge the bottom line of each other.
3
Adeler, a psychologist Adler called the subject separation.
Specifically, if you want to solve the troubles of interpersonal relationships, you must distinguish what is your subject and what is the subject of others.I am only responsible for doing my affairs, and you are only responsible for doing your affairs.
Specifically, how to distinguish whether one thing is your subject or the subject of others?
There are two principles here for reference:
① Who will bear the result of this matter first
② Look at who do this.The final decision maker.
In other words, learn to distinguish yourself, focus on doing your own, and not to interfere with others as much as possible. This is to maintain the boundary.
Wang Ziheng also said in the article "The root of family relationship pain: Chinese general lack of boundaries" also said similar remarks:
"There are only three things in the world, their own things, other peoples affairs and Gods affairs.The boundaries of the boundary, do not invade the boundaries of others, and make the sense of boundaries clear, is what we should start from now.Neither overwhelm the scope of others nor letting others want to trample on their own.
May we all have a good social distance.
