October 1, 2019, it is a high cloud, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weather, the weatherThe sunny days.
I slowly walk on the street of this city, whistling around, a beautiful car.
The black and shiny body, the heart -shaped flowers are decorated on the hood of the car, making people want to look at it.
Looking at this beautiful wedding car, my tears fell down, thinking:
If there is no breakup,Today, I should also sit in this beautiful wedding car, turning into a delicate makeup, and marrying the loved ones full of expectations.
But now, I am alone in this strange city, sad, sad, and mixed.
Everything must start from the Spring Festival 2019.
In 2019, I thought I could enter the palace of marriage.
I did not expect that the Spring Festival just after the Spring Festival, because my parents sudden opposition, my first relationship ended at the age of 25.
After the breakup, when I watched the TV series, the heroine restarted his life for a while.
I think I can also come out of love, so I came to another city alone and start a new life.
I still remember that I started a new job, new environment, new colleagues on March 1, 2019, and I started a new work, new environment, new colleagues.At that time, I thought I came out.
However, when I was completely competent, I kept thinking about the past of this relationship.
I deliberately send a circle of friends every day. When he entangled whether he would like to give me a praise, watching him traveling with our friends, I suddenly cried in the restaurant.
Watching the buses who screamed across the road during the day, thinking of the bits and pieces of the past when you were in a long distance, he would shed tears unconsciously.
Lying on the bed at night, unconsciously recalling the past, sometimes crying and sleeping, sometimes sleeping overnight.
I hated myself at the time, hated myself without fighting, and told myself over and over again that people may have forgotten you long ago. What are you thinking about?
If you think too much, you cant help but smash your head with your hands.
Later, emotions gradually affected physical and health.
I tried to see Chinese medicine in the past, it was useless, my hair fell crazy, and I woke up at 4 am every day.
I especially remember that in the morning of September, I have been tortured by sleep problems.
I collapsed that morning. Looking out the window, I wanted to climb to the top of the building and jump.
My friend pulled me to travel to the island. We watched the sunrise, watched the sunset, and took photos.
At night, I sat with her at the seaside, listening to the waves and constantly patting the stones, over and over again.
The island is my favorite place, I am most longed for the beauty of seeing.
But at this moment, I am not happy at all, or even feel.
I was at that moment, and suddenly realized that my heart was really sick.
End this trip, and when I return to the job, I suddenly became numb.
That night, I still couldnt sleep. I thought I needed to ask for help, so I made an appointment for a psychological consultation.
For the first time, see the consultant, October 1, 2019.
The placement of the consulting room is very simple, a sofa, a small bed, a coffee table, a flower on the coffee table, and a timer.
When we sit face to face, I still have a little nervousness.
Looking up at the consultant, she is a woman. Her face is very kind. I inexplicably have a sense of trust in my mind.
I found a tree hole. I started to talk about my love passage.I cried.
The consultant handed over the paper towels and wiped me tears.
At the same time, I asked me: "You are here today, because it should be because of today, it should be your marriage. You needA special meaning. "
I denied it at the time, and the consultant did not refute me. She said that we now analyze and analyze the problems you said."Your current situation and knot, not only the failure of feelings, but also the unwillingness to work, which increases your pressure, and parents parents lack care. NowYou close your eyes, let yourself be empty, dont think about anything, let go. "
I cant let it go, close my eyes, and return to the previous little bit.Work, think of a lot of things.
Although they are all past things, they are just like movies, playing over and over in my mind.
The consultant seemed to see my state, letting me open my eyes and said, "You are still very tight, remember to let go, you focus on one point, stare at itOne point. "
She leads me to feel her knees, fingertips, eyes, and brains, all over the body.
Slowly, I did a little bit, and then did a little bit.
When I opened my eyes, the brain seemed to inject a fresh oxygen, which was more awake and more comfortable. This was my first consultation.
My consultation cycle is about 2 months.
When I went to the second time, I didnt like to cry so much.
The consultant first analyzed the problem for me, and then arranged me with 3 homework.
The first one is to repeat yourself 3 times a day. You are the best, you are the best, you are the best.
The second is to decompress yourself. You must learn to let yourself go at work. If you have the abilityToday is not because you dont deal with it, dont put too much pressure on yourself.
The third is to raise a pot of plants. Observe the growth of plants every few days and take photos.
I slowly, I did it as a doctors method.
For the third time to do psychological counseling, my mood is obviously easier.
In the next few consultations, I have different changes each time.
At the last time, the consultant said to me:
"You are a kind sunny girl, this is just your little life in your lifeOne episode, you are excellent and worthy of being loved. The next boy who is your boyfriend is a lucky person. "
In fact, I did not know these details at the time.I just felt that I struggled for a long time, and finally climbed out of the mud.
Since then, I have not put as much pressure on myself at work.Do this well.
The rest of the matter, do their best.If you ca n’t do it, it has nothing to do with yourself, do n’t take it so much.
In life, I can slowly accept new feelings, and I will associate with the opposite sex with a relatively peaceful attitude.
I no longer care about the thoughts of others so much, but also let go of many past events.
The experience of this psychological counseling has given me the biggest change is that I learned to relax myself and no longer blame myself.
I used to feel that I was not good enough, no one loved, and be careful in life.
Whether work or life, they care too much about others opinions.
Now I have learned to care about myself, and no longer think about what happened. Looking forward, the life is getting easier and smooth.
I am very grateful to myself at the time, seeking the right way to forget this knot and self-relief.
Today, I have gradually become interested in psychology and learn how to regulate my emotions.
Whenever I see some people, because of depression committed suicide, I really want to tell them-
Life is beautiful, but you are sick at the time, you have been blinded by your eyes, and you cant see it.As long as it is cured, you can see this cloudless sky.
Author: visitor Lean
Edit: lilith
