This article is authorized to transfer from: three mothers and six babies (ID: pkumum)
Recently, I brushed an interview video of an educational blogger.
Talking about the expectations of his daughter, he said: "It doesnt matter, the first who loves to take the test, just get into college, you have earned enough money for the child to spend a lifetime, the daughters daughter, the daughterIf you want to do whatever you want ... "
This domineering speech made many netizens envy, hoping to have the same confidence parents.After all, on the road of life, there is such a solid backing, and you can go to many worries.
But this kind of family is still a few. Most children come from ordinary families and are very limited in resources and financial resources.
Therefore, there is a more popular point of view that Many parents are desperate for chickens because they do not have the ability to support their children.
Parents are guilty, thinking that if the family conditions are good enough, the child does not have to work so hard.
While trying to force the child to work hard and get good grades in learning, you can also have a good future with yourself.
But in this way, the pressure of children and parents is very high, and it is unknown whether it can be a result of chickens. It is very likely that the career has collapsed before the career.
I understand the ideas of parents, and I want to discuss with you:
can be satisfied to the child?Is it really a good thing to hold the child?
Standard
Many parents have different views
Parents have their own views on the standards of the bottom.
Some parents believe that the bottom is to provide children with endless money, leaving children withdrawal real estate, and worrying about childrens food and food.
In their opinion, the richness of material can cover the wind and rain for children, so that children do not need to worry about economic issues in all stages of life, such as entrepreneurship and marriage.
Another parents put their attention to the countrys route, thinking that children receive international education and arrange for their children to arrange for their childrenThe road to study abroad is a high -level way of support.
However, is these seemingly beautiful bottom-up schemes absolutely insurance?Its really not necessarily.
The house may be prepared to pay the east stream because the developer runs the road;The education route is forced to interrupt;
and money may also inadvertently encounter fraud, all water drift.Although the example is a bit extreme, these potential risks remind us that the so -called insurance solution is not insurance. After all, it is too long and there are too many variables.
More importantly, if the child has always been supported, the child is likely to form a dependence psychology.
When children are used to someone to solve all problems for them, they will lose the motivation to fight for their lives and become unrealistic and proactive.
Children will think that no matter what they do, there are parents to clean up the disabled later.Isnt that the rich second generation of the news?In encountering problems, it will only be resolved with violence, lack of responsibility, and no consequences of doing things ...
The boundary of the bottom will become more and more blurred.
At the beginning, it may just help the childs lifes major decisions, and gradually couldnt help but intervene even more.
Finally, the bottom has become the bottom of the pocket, the parents are exhausted, and the child also loses the opportunity to grow independently.
Most families cannot do the bottom
But can be held
In fact, in my opinion, in the current social environment, it is difficult for most families to doGive your child completely.
As parents, we can do a better thing for children.
The support is not to create incomplete material wealth for children, nor do you plan for your children, but to help children develop the bottom capabilities and let them face each of eachWhen challenging, you can calmly cope.
I think it is more critical, and there are three aspects of the ability:
Many parents pay attention to their childrens upper limit, such as how potential is the potential and what height can reach in the future.
But I think that in this era, I should actually consider where the lower limit of the child is.
lower limit, that is, the bottom line, the child can develop average, but at least you must have the ability to eat and do.
Being an educational blogger these years, I have interviewed many excellent parents and found that everyone has a consensus.
is the best child to succeed, but if you are academic, as long as you can support yourself in the future, it is already a very successful education.
▍2, teach childrens ability to distinguish bad guys
Many of our children are 10 after 10. Most of these children grew up under the care of the two generations, maintaining good and simple characteristics.
I have not experienced the poison of society, and I have not even pre -judged danger. Once people who encounter inconsistent hearts are easily harmed.
So it is very important to let children understand the real society at a suitable age, know that there are bad people in the world, and increase their vigilance.
After all, parents cannot protect their children in the way, and cultivate childrens ability to distinguish bad people is an important part of childrens growth.
▍3, improve childrens resistance
The current education is always emphasized emphasizedWhat is "winning", but few people tell their children what to do if they lose.
Small to the loss of each game, to the unsatisfactory marriage and career, children will inevitably encounter various setbacks and difficulties during their growth.
In these textbooks that do not teach, our parents have to make up for their children, so that they can understand that whether it is smooth or adversity, it is the normal state of life. No one life is smooth sailing.Essence
I specially agree with Dr. Liu Qingshengs "win -win education" to his daughter.There are always many opportunities to come back. "
When the parents no longer value the winning or losing, the child will slowly learn to dilute the result and enjoy the process.
In the end, I want to say that the future is full of uncertainty and it is not realistic to help children plan all roads.
Even if the money is placed to the child gold, so that the child can get a class leap -on ticket, the child may still become a gold.
However, helping the children to get through the bottom capacity value, so that they can have the ability to decide the times, but they will use their children for a lifetime.
Three mothers and six babies (ID: pkumum), three north mothers, three professional women.Six Mengwa, four men and two women, each of them.Originally share the concepts of scientific parenting knowledge, quality education experience, quality education experience, quality of life.Explore parent -child relationships and family relationships.Tucaos parents are short and social.family
